October was National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which began in 1981, as a Day of Unity by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. This day served to bring together battered women’s advocates from all over the country.

That single day has morphed into an entire month to bring awareness to domestic violence and the different ways it can manifest, not just for women but also for men.

 Domestic violence is not limited to physical violence; it can also include yelling, humiliation, stalking, manipulation, coercion, threats and isolation. It can be stealing a paycheck, keeping tabs online, non-stop texting, constantly using the silent treatment, or calling someone stupid so often they believe it.

 According to the National Congress of American Indians, more than 4 in 5 Native women (84.3%) have experienced domestic violence in their lifetime. To help bring awareness to these statistics, employees at the Choctaw Nation organized an event to bring domestic violence to the forefront of everyone’s mind.

 Choctaw Nation employee, Carolyn Steelman was on hand to tell her story during the event. Steelman had been experiencing all of the signs of domestic violence but had not accepted that it was happening to her. When she finally did, it was with the help of the Choctaw Nation.

 “It’s helped me so much to discover there are other people out there going through the same thing I’m going through…It’s just a big, big relief that I’m not alone,” said Steelman.

 Steelman talked about a time at the store when she passed some pepper spray for sale but thought she did not need it. She finally did buy some and it potentially saved her when her husband broke into the house and attacked her.

 Having a month dedicated to spreading awareness of domestic violence and its many facets is important. Holding these events is one thing the Nation does to further that cause. Chief Gary Batton said, “I think it’s critically important that we’re aware domestic violence happens all around us at all times.”

 Some of the warning signs to look for from friends and family who may be suffering from domestic violence are: 

• Seeming afraid or anxious to please their partner.

• Going along with everything their partner says and does.

• Checking in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing.

• Receiving frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner. 

• Talking about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness.

• Experiencing frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents.”

• Frequently missing work, school, or social occasions without explanation.

• Dressing in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors).

 According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, intimate partner violence is physical, sexual or psychological. It can include any behavior that frightens, intimidates, manipulates or humiliates someone. 

 If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence the Choctaw Nation wants to help. Anna Marcy, Director of the Family Violence Prevention Program at the Choctaw Nation said, “There is help available... Whether you’re in Oklahoma or Texas, there are different programs; but if you live within the Choctaw Nation service area, whether you’re native or non-native, male, female, it does not matter, our programs doors are open to anyone.”

 Batton said, “It means a lot to us that our dollars that come from our businesses are able to offer assistance for people that are going through domestic violence. Whether it’s through housing, or rental assistance, or through behavioral health counseling.”

 If you are a victim of family violence, or you’re living in fear of violence, contact the Choctaw Nation Children and Family Services at 800-522-6170.